出国留学首选一诺留学

　　汉语作文写作和英语作文写作虽然有很大的共同之处，但是绝不能用汉语的思维来写作托福作文。托福写作不是一个简单的翻译过程，而是考察考生的英语表达能力。因此，同学们要想取得托福作文高分，就应该摒弃你的中式英文!
 

　　句子完美，用词到位，分数自然就会高，但是我们的学生受思维定式的影响，往往在新托福写作中运用的是中国式英语。英语和汉语表达有区别，如果在新托福写作中套汉语思维，就是中式化英语的表现。这只能使文章语言蹩脚、冗赘。所以考生在平时阅读英语材料和练习写作时，要注意英语表达和汉语表达的差别，切忌在托福写作中硬套汉语思维。
 

　　1、Original: If we agree to say that school offers us the best book knowledge acquisition then our society offers us the best surviving techniques in a hard way.
 

　　Revised: If we agree that school offers the best method for the acquisition of book knowledge, then our society offers us the best method for acquiring common sense or “street smarts”.
 

　　Agree to say that表达中式化，只需要agree that即可;the best book knowledge acquisition改为the best method for the acquisition of book knowledge(学校给我们提供了获取书本知识的最好方法)更为恰当 ，同样，后面的the best surviving techniques改为the best method for acquiring common sense...;加上street marks(街头智慧)给文章的托福词汇增添色彩。
 

　　2、Original: They can spend more time studying education and communication to improve their role as a mother, wifes and daughter.
 

　　Revised: They can also decide to spend more time studying, education themselves, in order to improve themselves in their roles as mothers, wives and daughters.
 

　　原句中studying education and communication的说法中式化，不符合英语的表述，应该为studying，educating themselves。除了词语表达，此句中还存在其他问题，如名词单复数的使用：不是提高他们的角色，而 是提高他们自身以扮演好母亲角色。
 

　　还有，女性不止一个人。很多人都在扮演母亲角色，role和mother应用复数，故将improve their role as a mother改为improve themselves in their roles as mother;同样，为保持一致，wife和daughter也可用复 数，原文中wife的复数写法有误，应该是wives。
 

　　3、Original：If you can get the point of communication by watching TV，will you...?
 

　　Revised：If one can learn about communicating from television，will you...?
 

　　原句的get the point of communication by watching TV表达不清，让人难以理解，应该是指“从电视上学习交际”：learn about communicating from television.
 

　　在托福写作中中国考生首先要摒弃的是中式英文，同学们在平时练习中可以多听多看一些地道的英文表达，避免再出现同类的错误。